On vacation
What's harder: stopping mid orgasm, or stopping mid vomit?
What's more ghey: Going to the gym in a polo shirt with a popped collar, or wearing really short shorts?Picture 1: We went virtual golfing the other day, and I was beaten by a girl. Picture 2: This month has not been a healthy one for me. The other day I went to dinner with this girl, and I was prepared to leave right after dinner, but she wanted to drink some wine, so I obliged. One bottle of white, and I wanted another one. I don't remember a goddamn thing after the first bottle, which leads me to believe I should stop drinking wine. Or, I was drugged. Apparently I was hitting on the waitress the whole night. I woke up in my bed, with my contacts in and without having showered, which has happened less than five times in my life. I don't know how I got home, or what kind of things I had done that night.I checked my phone, and of course I had drunk dialed and texted like a champion. But the girl had hollered multiple times without my having texted/called once, so apparently my antics didn't faze her. Then I was looking at pictures in my phone, and stumbled upon this. At first glance I thought it was me, and thought, "Fuck, not again" but it was someone else.Picture 3: This is a $30,000 monkey. $30,000. That is like a Vacheron Constantin, or an inexpensive new car. And there are fucking two of them. Who the fuck would buy a $30,000 monkey at a dirty little pet store? I posed this question to the dude that sits across from me at work, and he says that because we work in an area with a thriving sex trade, rich dudes will buy their hostesses and escorts the monkeys, and they will either keep the monkeys as pets, or turn around and sell them for $20,000. Which makes sense, because where we work there are more second hand brand name goods stores than Chinatown.Then there is this other animal with huge eyes and it is such an odd creature. But it was sleeping, so I could not take a good pic of it. Alright, I'm off to Hokkaido.
